It must be true... I read it in the tabloids
▪ A Texas man sued his date for the $17.31 he paid for her movie ticket after she allegedly ruined the film by constant texting. Brandon Vezmar, 37, called Crystal Cruz a “threat to civilized society” in his suit, claiming she used her phone up to 20 times durl-claims court. “I’m not a bad woman,” Cruz said. “I just went on a date.”
▪ A morbidly obese wild monkey in Thailand who binged on junk food and soda left behind by tourists has been rescued by wildlife workers and put on a weight-loss program. Adult macaques typically weigh about 20_pounds, but Uncle Fat, as locals call the chunky monkeuit, and vegetables.
▪ A Tennessee couple driving along an interstate got pulled over last week because they had an unexpected passenger—a drunken man who’d fallen asleep on top of their trunk. Carl Webb and his wife said they didn’t notice the man when they left a barbecue festival in the dark. They were stunned when a policeman stopped them 14 miles later and told Webb, “Mister, are you aware there’s a body on your trunk?” The man woke only when police roused him. “There’s no way to describe it,” said Webb. “It’s unbelievable.” ■