Good week/bad week
Good week for:
Survivalists, with news that Costco, the bulk-food wholesaler, is selling a 27-pound “storage bucket” of macaroni and cheese with a shelf life of 20 years. The bucket retails for $89.99, which works out to a cost-efficient 50 cents per serving.
Romeo, the “world’s loneliest frog,” who may have found a mate. One of the last surviving Sehuencas water frogs, Romeo spent 10 years alone in a Bolivian aquarium before being introduced to “Juliet,” a new specimen described as “really energetic.”
Casual dining, after President Trump welcomed the champion Clemson Tigers college football team to the White House with hundreds of boxes of burgers, filet o’ fish, and pizzas from McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Burger King, and Domino’s. “Our nutritionist must be having a fit,” remarked one Clemson player.
Bad week for:
The childish, after frustrated highway officials at the Washington State Department of Transportation announced they were replacing a constantly stolen “69” mile marker sign with one nearby reading “68.9” miles.
Gratitude, with the news that GOP congressman and former obstetrician Dr. Phil Roe will be challenged in 2020 by Democrat Chris Rowe—who claims Roe delivered him as a baby. Rowe said he’s running to expand access to health care.
The rains down in Africa, after artist Max Siedentopf set up six speakers attached to a solar-powered MP3 player in the Namib Desert to play “Africa,” the 1982 Toto hit, “for all eternity.” Siedentopf said he “wanted to pay the song the ultimate homage.”