Stephen Colbert sheepishly mocks Trump's leaked phone transcripts, schools Stephen Miller on Lady Liberty
On Thursday's Late Show, Stephen Colbert pivoted from the latest threat to President Trump's presidency to his first week in office, "back when we were giving him a chance," and rumors emerged about some contentious phone conversations he had with Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto and Australian Prime Minister Malcolm Turnbull. Trump denied the talks were tense and "these were private conversations," Colbert said. "Who do you believe? The guy who denied it or the guy who was lying? There was no way to know — until this morning, when The Washington Post published full transcripts."
"Now these transcripts, I believe, should not have been leaked," Colbert said, dutifully. "Bad leaker. Whoever you are, you shouldn't have done it. But you did, so let's just keep going." So he did, starting with Trump telling Peña Nieto that he really doesn't care about the border wall, up to where "Trump, for some reason, started talking smack about America." The Turnbull call was bonkers, too, and as rumored, it ended abruptly and poorly. "High-energy Don, Mr. Stamina, one week into his presidency, just gives up," Colbert said, reciting how Trump told Turnbull his was "the most unpleasant call all day. Putin was a pleasant call."
Later, Colbert returned to Trump's new immigration plan, which aims to halve legal immigration using a points system. "Kind of like Weight Watchers, but the goal is to lose brown people," Colbert said, listing the criteria that gets you points. "Ah, it's the classic immigrant tale," he summarized. "You come here at 28, speaking perfect English with a briefcase full of cash and a dream that if you work hard, your kids might go to the same college you did."
Subscribe to The Week
Escape your echo chamber. Get the facts behind the news, plus analysis from multiple perspectives.
Sign up for The Week's Free Newsletters
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
From our morning news briefing to a weekly Good News Newsletter, get the best of The Week delivered directly to your inbox.
White House policy adviser Stephen Miller was sent out to defend the plan, and Colbert replayed his comments about the Statue of Liberty and its history. "There's a lot of crazy in his explanation there," he said. But "here's the thing about the poem on the Statue of Liberty — I agree with Stephen Miller that we're never going to live up to it. It's an aspirational document, like 'Love your neighbor as yourself,' or 'All men are created equal,' or 'Employees must wash hands before returning to work.' It's something to strive for." With that in mind, he picked up a torch and a tablet and recited an updated version of "The New Colossus." Watch below. Peter Weber
Create an account with the same email registered to your subscription to unlock access.
Sign up for Today's Best Articles in your inbox
A free daily email with the biggest news stories of the day – and the best features from TheWeek.com
Peter has worked as a news and culture writer and editor at The Week since the site's launch in 2008. He covers politics, world affairs, religion and cultural currents. His journalism career began as a copy editor at a financial newswire and has included editorial positions at The New York Times Magazine, Facts on File, and Oregon State University.
-
'Restoring life to an ancient watershed'
Today's Newspapers A roundup of the headlines from the US front pages
By The Week Staff Published
-
Crossword: March 26, 2024
The Week's daily crossword
By The Week Staff Published
-
Sudoku hard: March 26, 2024
The Week's daily hard sudoku puzzle
By The Week Staff Published
-
Reddit IPO values social media site at $6.4 billion
Speed Read The company makes its public debut on the New York Stock Exchange
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Housing costs: the root of US economic malaise?
speed read Many voters are troubled by the housing affordability crisis
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Feds cap credit card late fees at $8
speed read The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau finalized a rule to save households an estimated $10 billion a year
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Immigration helped the US economy outpace peers
speed read The U.S. economy grew at an annualized rate of 3.2% last quarter
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
4-day workweek gets boost from UK study
Speed Read Following a six-month trial, the majority of participating British companies are still using the truncated schedule
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
US sues to block Kroger-Albertsons merger
Speed Read The Federal Trade Commission sued to block the $24.6 billion merger between the grocery giants
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
Nvidia sees historic stock rise on AI chips success
Speed Read U.S. chipmaker Nvidia achieved the biggest one-day increase in value of any company in history
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published
-
New York may seize Trump's assets for $450M penalty
Speed Read The former president likely owes $600 million from two civil judgments in New York
By Peter Weber, The Week US Published