Actors Robert DeNiro and Ben Stiller made a guest appearance on Saturday Night Live as Special Counsel Robert Mueller and President Trump's embattled personal lawyer, Michael Cohen, for a Meet the Parents-style interrogation.
After a chat with Attorney General Jeff Sessions (Kate McKinnon) and Vice President Mike Pence (Beck Bennett), the hapless Cohen meets Mueller for a surprise lie detector test. "I'll start with some easy ones," Mueller begins. "How'd you like that pee-pee tape?"
As the interrogation proceeds, it swerves between references to real life and the Meet the Parents franchise. And in either context, DeNiro's Mueller makes clear, he is prepared to "catch all you little Fockers." Watch the full sketch below. Bonnie Kristian
"Hello, how's it going? Let's make this quick, because I've got a lot of trade wars to escalate," Saturday Night Live's President Trump (Alec Baldwin) began his joint press conference with the leaders of several Baltic states. After his prepared (and extremely unprepared) remarks are finished, Trump turns his attention to his own inner monologue, mainly concluding he is very bored and would rather be watching Roseanne, as she is "like a good Rosie O'Donnell."
After a brief nap while the president of Lithuania is speaking, SNL's Trump decides to get honest with assembled members of the press. Of his one-sided feud with Jeff Bezos, owner of Amazon and The Washington Post, Trump concedes his hatred because Bezos is "way more mature than me and he admits to being bald, so I feel threatened on two levels."
Asked about negative effects of his immigration and trade policies, Trump again cuts to the chase. "Here's the thing no one else is saying, and I'm the only one who's willing to actually say this: I don't care about America," he says. "This whole presidency is a four-year cash grab, and admitting that will probably get me four more years." Watch the full skit below. Bonnie Kristian
SNL's Rex Tillerson is definitely still processing being fired by 'a man who used to sell steaks in the mail'
On the set with Anderson Cooper (Alex Moffat), Hader's former White House communications director Anthony Scaramucci and Goodman's fired Secretary of State Rex Tillerson commiserated about the chaos in the Trump administration. "It's just crazy how one day you're the CEO of Exxon, a 50-billion dollar company," Tillerson muses, "and the next you get fired by a man who used to sell steaks in the mail."
Kate McKinnon also showed up as Attorney General Jeff Sessions reflecting on the Friday firing of Deputy FBI Director Andrew McCabe. "I'm just a simple man who wanted to make things bad for immigrants," Sessions says, "and now here I am taking away the pension of a Christian white. It ain't right!" Watch the full sketch below. Bonnie Kristian
Saturday Night Live's Kate McKinnon reprised her role as Special Counsel Robert Mueller, faced with the difficult task of admitting he can't quite commit to collusion charges against President Trump in the Russia probe.
Appearing on The Bachelor, Mueller explains to a distraught Becca K. (Cecily Strong) that he's "been struggling a little bit over the last few months just, like trying to figure this whole thing out and like grasp everything, and the reality is that I don't — I don't think that I can give you everything that you want right now, you know, and I think you sense that."
"So, what, you don't have Trump on collusion?" Becca replies. He does not, and he would really like America "to come together as a country right now and, like, stop hoping for things that might not happen." Watch the full sketch below. Bonnie Kristian
SNL's Trump said he 'was going to run this country like a business. That business is a Waffle House at 2 a.m.'
Alec Baldwin returned to Saturday Night Live as President Trump this week to talk mental health — "which I have so much of; I have one of the healthiest mentals" — and his many opinions on gun control.
"No one loves the Second Amendment and due process more than me," he said, flanked by Vice President Mike Pence (Beck Bennett) and Sen. Dianne Feinstein (Cecily Strong), "but maybe we just take everyone's guns away, okay? Nobody is allowed to have a gun, not even the whites." A couple sentences later, however, Trump remembered his deep-pocketed friends at the NRA and assured Pence nothing will change.
SNL's Trump also addressed the competition America faces from countries like China and Wakanda, and he explained that the chaos and turnover in his White House actually fulfills a campaign promise. "I said I was going to run this country like a business," he said. "That business is a Waffle House at 2 a.m."
Watch the full sketch below. Bonnie Kristian
SNL's Melania Trump gets advice from Jackie O, Hillary Clinton, Martha Washington, and Michelle Obama
"Oh, I don't belong as first lady," moans Saturday Night Live's Melania Trump (Cecily Strong) at the prospect of attending President Trump's State of the Union address. "I wish I could talk to someone who's been through this whole mess before."
Her wish is granted by the materialization of former first lady Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis (host Natalie Portman), who arrives dressed in a perfect pillbox hat and fully prepared to dispense her hard-won wisdom on how to handle presidents who cheat. "You're not the only first lady whose husband had affairs," Jackie says, referring to Trump's acknowledged and alleged infidelities. "Jack cheated on me with Marilyn Monroe."
Melania isn't quite sold on the comparison, but soon she gets additional advice from other former first ladies: a smug Hillary Clinton (Kate McKinnon), an ax-wielding Martha Washington (Aidy Bryant), and a triumphant Michelle Obama (Leslie Jones), whose "perfect" marriage is just "like The Notebook, but black and rich." Watch the full sketch below. Bonnie Kristian
Alec Baldwin returned to Saturday Night Live as President Trump calling in to his favorite show, Fox & Friends, while in bed enjoying his morning Diet Coke and Egg McMuffin. Before Trump rings in, though, the Fox hosts chat with White House gossip girl Hope Hicks (Cecily Strong) and a befuddled Minister Louis Farrakhan (Chris Redd), who has been invited to Fox to explore his newfound commonality with the network and the president: distrust of the FBI.
Soon it's time for Baldwin's Trump to get his daily intelligence briefing — from Fox & Friends, naturally — but what he really wants to do is talk about his "State of the Union speech, which was watched by 10 billion people, including all of China." After all, Trump muses, "a lot of folks are saying, including Paul Ryan, that it was better than Martin Luther King's 'I dream of Jeannie' speech."
Watch the full sketch below. Bonnie Kristian
Saturday Night Live alum Will Ferrell returned to his old stomping grounds to revive his role of President George W. Bush, whom polling suggests is remembered with increasing fondness in the age of Trump.
Trump "came in and suddenly I'm looking pretty sweet by comparison," Ferrell's Bush explains from the fake Oval Office where he relives his presidential glory days. "I'm suddenly popular AF, and a lot of people are saying, 'Man, I wish George W. Bush was still our president right about now.'"
"So I just wanted to address my fellow Americans tonight and remind you guys that I was really bad," he continues. "Like historically not good. So I get why you don't like this current guy — heck, I voted for Jill Stein all the way — but please do not look back at my presidency and think, 'This is how we do it.' Don't forget, we're still in two different wars that I started. Hey, hey, what has two thumbs and created ISIS? This guy."
Watch the full skit below. Bonnie Kristian